Many years ago, upon moving to San Diego, CA, I first took notice of the road and freeway sign that seemed to show a running family. It took me a minute to figure out what the sign actually meant, which was that there were people being chased down and punched in the butt by a rabid child. Anyway, the fine people at the aptly named jalopnik.com took it upon themselves to index the 10 most confusing signs in the US. I guess they couldn't find that squiglly road sign from the Pee Wee's Big Adventure. That one would have definitely confused me. Here's a link to the site.

http://jalopnik.com/5044869/americas-10-most-confusing-traffic-signs

Sometimes, there's a man so stupid that the fact he's made it to adulthood alive is amazing. Christopher Kron is that man. And now he's negotiating a jail sentence for the dumbest burglary of all time. Aside from getting his unobstructed face on camera, he stayed around the restaurant he was robbing while the alarm blared and even answered the phone from the security company and gave them his name, just to steal a bottle of liquor and a bottle of beer. And if that wasn't enough, he stopped by the restaurant the following morning. Needless to say, he was collected by the police not too long afterward. 

 Here's a link to the article: http://www.winknews.com/news/local/26953354.html

 And here's the television news clip:

According to Rocky Twyman, God needs to, once again, step away from needy and pander to his collection-plate-filling constituents of the American driving class. Rocky suggests to the San Francisco Chronicle that people pray for God to force the price of gasoline down, as he prefers not to pursue the issue through the proper methods of approaching such a problem in a representative democracy. Prayer is simple and it sounds like Rocky is cheap, he likes attention, and he's an idiot.

Anyway, I just said a quick prayer for Rocky and I won't be specific, but I'm hoping Rocky comes out on the business end of a really confusing day at a pregnant teen's house.

The Haunted American Tours website! Apparently the people of America have voted and the obnoxiously titled award of The Most Haunted Paranormal Couple of the Year goes to Greg and Judy Myers of Paranormal Task Force. Based on the looks of Greg and Judy they could also get a number an award for overall loseriness. Plus, getting an award from a website that looks like a crying crack-baby put to html can't do much for your self esteem. "Us even bigger losers at Haunted American Tours give you this dumb ass award. Please acknowledge us!" Anyway, here's a link to the site.

http://www.hauntedamericatours.com/ghosthunting/paranormalcouple.php

And this cat's the captain.

Xenia, Ohio makes its way onto the map once again, this time sans the flying trailers and girls with tape on their boobs. If glass eating cats and retarded prostitutes weren't enough, this guy takes a bath in the Burger King sink. If only Humpty Hump could be here for this... He'd be so proud.

http://www.ajc.com/services/content/news/stories/2008/08/12/burger_king_ohio_video_employee_bathing.html

Finally, the answer you've been waiting for. If you straight up need to get paid at someone else's expense, literally, there's a website that can make that dream a reality.

"Dolla, dolla bill, y'all!"

http://www.abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/story?id=5536677&page=1

Jesus,

My faith is waning so can you please do a stupid trick for me? And keep it short 'cause I'm on prepaid!

http://www.inquisitr.com/2240/jesus-appears-in-cell-phone-picture/