In this clip I'm acting like I'm NOT getting hit by a flying dumptruck.

Now, I'm no expert but I would guess that persons under 21 are the final recipient of more Natural Light beer than folks over 21. I mean, it tastes really bad, it's watery, and unless you're a really poor alcoholic needing to get drunk on his last $5, you'll upgrade to a slightly less awful beer. Only high school kids and young college kids lack enough pride, taste and job options to confidently justify the purchase of Natural Light. Well, those people and hillbilly rednecks. I once saw a hillbilly redneck drink piss to wash the blood out of his mouth. Anyway, here are some commercials from a Natural Night marketing campaign introducing "Nattyisms," a series of Natural Light oriented axioms.

 

Really, it's not. It's a living white trash people joke. These ICP idiots had an Insane Clown funeral for their recently deceased baby. And though this is quite sad on its own, one can only imagine what will happen when their dead baby gets old enough in Heaven years to learn earthly secrets, see people privately masturbating, and use Heaven's internet. It's bad enough to know that your parents are mentally retarded but to dress your dead body in ICP gear and circulate it around the internet is wrong upon wrong.

There is a whole video of this nonsense here.

According to Rocky Twyman, God needs to, once again, step away from needy and pander to his collection-plate-filling constituents of the American driving class. Rocky suggests to the San Francisco Chronicle that people pray for God to force the price of gasoline down, as he prefers not to pursue the issue through the proper methods of approaching such a problem in a representative democracy. Prayer is simple and it sounds like Rocky is cheap, he likes attention, and he's an idiot.

Anyway, I just said a quick prayer for Rocky and I won't be specific, but I'm hoping Rocky comes out on the business end of a really confusing day at a pregnant teen's house.

Link: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/04/26/BUCN10C1KR.DTL

The Haunted American Tours website! Apparently the people of America have voted and the obnoxiously titled award of The Most Haunted Paranormal Couple of the Year goes to Greg and Judy Myers of Paranormal Task Force. Based on the looks of Greg and Judy they could also get a number an award for overall loseriness. Plus, getting an award from a website that looks like a crying crack-baby put to html can't do much for your self esteem. "Us even bigger losers at Haunted American Tours give you this dumb ass award. Please acknowledge us!" Anyway, here's a link to the site.

http://www.hauntedamericatours.com/ghosthunting/paranormalcouple.php

 

And this cat's the captain.

 

I must say, this video is about what you'd expect from Burger King employees. On the other hand, I never really expect that much from Burger King employees. Anyway, watch if you dare.

Xenia, Ohio makes its way onto the map once again, this time sans the flying trailers and girls with tape on their boobs. If glass eating cats and retarded prostitutes weren't enough, this guy takes a bath in the Burger King sink. If only Humpty Hump could be here for this... He'd be so proud.

http://www.ajc.com/services/content/news/stories/2008/08/12/burger_king_ohio_video_employee_bathing.html

 

 

I once mistook the swat team raiding my house for a murderous gang of criminals inspired by the movie Cobra. Apparently these ladies had a similar problem. Fortunately they had enough patience not to jump right into a game of "videotape myself beating up a stripper" as I might have. 

http://www.aol.com.au/news/story/Guests-at-noisy-German-birthday-party-mistake-police-for-strippers/776001/index.html